Hints and Surprise Tests

Only 8 days into October and the semi-expected twists and turns are still surprising. My sleep remains unpredictable, with altered states of consciousness happening earlier in the night–for me, states where I know my body is sleeping but I’m conscious of myself and my real-life surroundings, and conscious that I am not dreaming. I am occasionally aware of other beings around (that would not be visible were I awake); if friendly, I have conversations with them; if not (and this was new this week), it seems I can manage to take evasive/defensive procedures without losing sleep and waking up.

The first time an unfriendly encounter happened while I was in this altered state in mid-September, I woke myself up and questioned if it was all an overactive imagination. I went back to sleep and had a dream immediately where I was placing a tall crown on my own head. It had “10 levels” to it–a symbolic message if there ever was one–that I had tapped into/achieved a new awareness. The crown was also related to a wedding (hinting at a union) and I was right beside a glass oven with the crown, looking at the items inside that were baking (ie. in the works). One of the items in the oven was a large, shallow box made of bread/clay. Heat was warping the flat lid, but the container itself held its shape. Very potent symbols all around.

(I post these details because I’m documenting what spiritual growth has felt like for me. It’s very much a dance: Life throws me a new experience, I react, then try to understand both the experience and my reaction to it. Sometimes you’re given hints and clues, and then a variation of the “new experience” returns to give you even more information to try and understand–such are the altered-state and lucid dreaming experiences I’m having at night now. Each experience builds upon the last. I have asked to be shown as much as I can learn, to be figuratively whacked with the–loving–messages if I’m not getting them. I was also told, in no uncertain terms, that I should be sharing everything I’m learning, or else I’ll stagnate. I hope blogging counts. lol)

In my dreaming, lucid, and altered-conscious moments in sleep lately, there have been “tests”. Something tries to get me to act mindlessly–with anger or fear–and more and more quickly, I’ll feel that those calls or energies are not mine. Lately, instead of focusing on resisting (pushing what’s outside away), I’ve shifted to pulling my inside out: I’ve found the heart is even more powerful in dream/lucid/altered states than is visible in real life–in dreams it can be turned into a blinding light bulb, an engine, whatever one wishes; a refuge, a connection to Source, and from that source point, anything you need for dealing with that moment instantly manifests. (This is also a good time to bring up that the image in my blog header is called The Heart of Creation.) Two recent dreams had me dealing with “negative” situations, and I moved out of them by focusing on my heart–in one of the dreams, it allowed me to walk out of a “danger zone” while singing joyfully, ultimately giving me lucidity that lasted through two long dreams.

(Any meditation that focuses on the heart helps to develop this ability, useful in both dreaming and waking life. Whatever kind of meditation you’re learning or practising, make sure you learn one that lets you think, feel, create, and center yourself in the heart. My breakthrough came during Drunvalo Melchizedek’s Awakening the Illuminated Heart program. It may not be for everyone, but if you’re looking for a 4- or 5-day turbo-boost into heart-centered meditation, this would be one workshop to look into. The Hindus and Buddhists–and Christians, depending on your reading on the Bible–emphasized the divine powers in the heart, and it is paramount for any spiritual seekers to reclaim this space, else it’s easy to spend lifetimes lost in dogma, reductionism, and disempowerment.)

Back to the present:

I posted plenty of October outlooks in my last post, and they’ve prepped me well for the fiery outbursts I’m watching around me. Closest to home are the run-ins with my daughter, soon going on 5 years old–she is testing the boundaries more, she is losing her temper more quickly…though to be frank, so am I. (I’m just barely holding my own lid down!) Her outbursts seem to come a few times a day now. If any parents are reading this, all I’ll say is I hope you can take heart, as I have, that these flaring kiddy tempers and testing of limits have been forecast by at least one of the fantastic outlooks I previously linked to! I really hope these aren’t here to stay!

Today we’ll be having the Lunar Eclipse in Aries. I’m recommending Virgo Magic‘s take on this eclipse–she always makes me bust out my own birthchart (you can get yours here) and Google up a storm in order for me to get some hands-on understanding of how these things work. (I’m a hands-on person, too.) My 15 degrees Aries falls inside the house of communication–I’m area I’m treading carefully during this retrograde as I’m also a Mercury sign. (A double whammy for me–and I’m already being schooled in how it’s not just what comes out of my mouth that I should watch, but how I listen.)

The eclipse will be happening over here just after 6:30pm. It’ll be a good time for release ritual or meditation.