Setting Boundaries

Before bed last night, these were the words I penned in my (handwritten) journal:

We have the choice and the power to define and defend our boundaries, what we will and will not stand for. Having strong convictions and being true to oneself should not be subordinate to worrying what people think of you or what you fear their reaction will be. Their reactions are not my responsibility.

I would only add three more words: It is theirs. We can only be responsible at any time for our own reactions to events  around us.

If someone draws a negative emotion out of us, we are responsible for the choices we make on how to process it. Even lashing out is a choice, it just may not be the wisest one.

There is a lot of challenging and upheaval going on right now as hidden crimes, corruption, cruelties and deceits are being exposed; I’m watching this play out on political stages, and quite dramatically in personal circles as well as individual reactions are revealed. We should not be afraid of these abuses and injustices being exposed–many of them have been perpetuated in our ignorance. Now, as these abuses are brought to light, they should be faced, and should be learned from and stopped–we would not see them if we were not ready. It is time.

But revelation of any type of ugliness tends to evoke a variety of responses from those previously in the dark: disbelief, denial, apathy, anger, shock, sadness. We are trained to avoid negative emotions instead of working through them, so for some people, it means attacking the messengers (and sometimes, the victims) rather than facing the cruelties committed with our direct or indirect complicity.

In my life, I’ve often run into people who express denial when I reveal that the products or services (or parties) they support ultimately support cruel, socially regressive, or environmentally destructive causes. There will always be a handful willing to change, but as the adage goes: It is easier to fool people than to get them to believe that they have been fooled.

As more veils and blindfolds drop in the political, cultural and personal arenas, there will be a lot of negative emotions going around. Take care of your own, and DROP those that others may want to project or heap onto you. With pure intention you can ask that you only want to process your own stuff, and even as far as that goes, you can ask for help from your angels, guides and/or Higher Self.

Lasting, positive change in the world and in ourselves and society can only be achieved by seeing clearly our personal responsibilities, the crimes we’ve allowed in our name–and taking the authority back that we’d given to politicians, corporations, and religious leaders. This realisation that we are responsible for our own beliefs, actions, thoughts and emotions will be easier for some more than others, but it is a realisation everyone will need to make. Those in denial are merely making their own lessons harder.

Creating a better world isn’t easy, but it’s also simpler than most think: Love thyself. And leave behind what isn’t yours.